I’ve sat down countless times and tried to figure out when I first realized I wasn’t like everyone else. The first signs something wasn’t mentally “right” with me. Every time I think of it I tend to gravitate towards my diagnosis date and what the Dr told me was going on with me and how I felt lost afterward. But I’ve recently been trying to piece together several events from my life that I really think was major signs something was wrong and should have been handled earlier in my life.
Every once in a while I remember a certain point in my life, one of my darkest points. There are a few triggers that bring up those memories. I don’t really like thinking about it, but it also serves as a tool to remind me of how close I came to not being able to type this up now. It also reminds me that I had a bigger purpose in life.
There’s always something about the turn into a new year. This last year has been a very difficult year for me, and starting new seems like an amazing concept at this point in my life. I have battled some of my worst demons this year in ways I never thought I would ever have to. The biggest demon of which was my sobriety.