It took me a while to figure out what to post first after I came home from rehab. I finally decided on a letter I had to write as part of therapy and groups. A big focus of the rehab center I was open mic days where everyone was given an assignment and had to present it to the community. This was difficult for me at first, but progressively got easier as I went through them. But, my first one was a doozy of an assignment.
I was planning on a completely different type of post 3 days ago when I first started drafting this one. But, as is the case with anyone, much less someone who lives with Bipolar Disorder, things change rapidly. Things have been working better for me lately.
These last few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions, to say the least. I have been in a severe depressive episode for the better part of a month now, and one that eventually led to my relapse. I have been off the wagon for over a week now. I detailed it in my vlog the day I decided to drink. I made it to nearly 6 years of sobriety and still thought it was a good idea to pick up a drink. I wish I could say I stopped at that one day, but it’s been an ongoing thing ever since. The scary part is I fell right back into so easily.
I relapsed. I am not proud of it, I am pretty mad at myself for it. We will see where this takes me this time around.